I have decided to go for the ntu tmc exchange program. I will be spending my time in hk from 9-16 June. I think I agreed because of a pretty face. Kidding. If only life is so simple...
I hope she's going too. Can't get her out of my mind.
Last night, I googled people's names out of boredom. Most names were pretty common. My name, as usual, brings up what used to be yauhing.com. It's now redblossomtea.com or something like that, selling expensive tea in the US. Her name was the most unique. It brought up results that consisted mainly of various blogs, all of which seems to mention her name in full, or almost full. One of them was a newsletter from her country, which mentioned her in the article of Singapore-sponsored scholarships for students there. And it had her photo from back in '05. Kind of scary because it made it sound so prestigious. Perhaps it truly is that prestigious, and that possibility just worsens things for me.
And that I am going on a 1-week-date with her makes things difficult for me. Hopefully it's just a temporary thing just like those before.
And it looks like I will be needing a visa this time, so that I can visit Zhu Hai during the trip. One of the tmc members invited everyone to visit his hometown and he promised to treat us seafood there. That might be one of the major reasons for my agreement to join this program. :D
I fear many things. I fear me when I lack sleep. I fear my door opening when it is a bad time for that to happen. I fear helplessness. Fear is normal.
So I fear the possible global recession. The USD just keeps dropping! Oil prices keep rising! If this goes on, it had better be resolved by the time I graduate.
Another tragedy strikes. The Chaldean Catholic Archbishop of Mosul has been found dead. Shot in the head, at least that was a small mercy. But how can they kill religious people like that? Do they compare their own radical clerics with clerics of other religions? How can they, when these radical madmen incite violence directly from their own mouths? I cannot make myself use the words "their counterparts" when comparing these people with the others.
Of course, Christianity used to be like this too. Islam has always had such men. As long as there have been religions, there have been people who kill in the name of their religions or deities. Sad, but if I look at it from another angle, I see that it makes religious communities no less susceptible to the more primal natures of humanity than anyone else.
Civilization requires self-control. To have people who want to be truly themselves is to have uncivilized people. To say that we don't need to act like someone who isn't what we are, is to say we don't need civilization.
Rapists are sometimes described as showing their true colours. So are various other types of criminals.
See?
To be truly yourself, you do what you really want to do, regardless of social norms. And if everyone be themselves, the social norms would be chaos. Where there is chaos, civilization is absent. Therefore to say that you are a civilized person, you cannot be your true self.
And that is how I see the American culture. The entertainment industry is a reflection of their people, because if the people didn't like what they see, they wouldn't have supported it. And in all Hollywood movies, they send the message that people should do what they want to do. And in their movies in general, scenes depicting sex and violence are increasing, both of which are not the hallmarks of civilization.
American culture erodes their own civilization. They may be rich and powerful, but they look barbaric to other people. There is a certain limit to everything, how direct you should be, how much time you should invest in negotiating peace. All that culminates to how civilized you are. The US are toeing the line, if they haven't passed it already.
And on the other extreme, there is the Netherlands. One of the most civilized country in the world, if not the most civilized, it has already accepted euthanasia as a legal medical service. Instead of looking at matters through eyes tainted by fear and bigotry, they managed to see things objectively, and demonstrates what it truly means to be a secular state.
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