28th Jan 2023
A rough plan and pitch is coming up.
Played some Tyranny over the last few months. The initial portion didn't feel promising, expected it to be the theme of this game, but turns out the time limit does go away eventually, which I very much prefer.
Now it gets interesting.
Combat is simple. The real selling point is the decisions, which I keep worrying would make me feel bad later on. It's happened in a few games before, where seemingly good choices led to bad consequences for the parties involved. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions indeed.
Now that I've only got a week to play it, there isn't much time remaining!
29th Jan 2023
0828 - meeting her later. Time to clear things up a little, since I've been having trouble interpreting her behaviour in a consistent manner.
The rough plan needs to be smoothened, the details looked into and clarified.
31st Jan 2023
Found out the night before that my ear canals are relatively small which means my ear plugs need to be the smaller ones, like HoneyWell Bilsom 303S, the 3M Yellow Neons, or the Radians Evader. Can sleep with them on, so next sale, going to get a box or two.
Went for my third Hep B jab last Thursday and then my fourth covid vaccine this morning. So far so good.
Anyway she really is the quiet type, but fortunately it went quite well. Seems like a nice person, though with minimal initiative. Maybe shy, maybe doesn't meet new people often. Need a few more dates to understand her better.
Also the slimmest woman I've ever dated, and almost my height too, making her very unusual as far as my love life is concerned.
03rd Feb 2023
So matcha is nice but it doesn't make me visit the bathroom in the morning, which is pretty important given that when there is school or work, I get up two hours before leaving home for that. Not enough caffeine. Also, less bitter than I remembered, maybe it's because I accidentally added 78ml of water instead of 60ml, or maybe this brand is just less bitter. Will find out later when I try it again.
So the Therapeutic Arch Support from 3M's Futuro works for me somehow. I've been getting an ache at the front of my left arch that worsens when I rest my weight on it, and this has been going on occasionally for years, except now I have to stand for half a day during my clinicals. Last clinical, it wasn't around till the final week when I started working out my calves with one-legged calf raises that places a lot of stress on each foot, but it gradually got worsen over the week till the end of my clinical. The upcoming clinical, it's already around now, the week before it begins, so something had to be done, which gives me such relief when this worked so far over the last few days, albeit tested for hours on bare foot only.
It feels so soft, I didn't expect it to work, but it did, and if necessary, it has a harder piece to swap with the initial support piece inside. The idea is to get used to wearing this using the softer one, then move on to the harder one, but so far it feels like I can take to the softer one easily and probably won't need the change unless it breaks or softens further.
Anyways, thought this was flat foot, but so far, the pain is only at the front of the arch closer to the ball of my foot whereas flat feet involve an ache at the back near the heels. Will mention this to the doctor if I ever need to visit him again for whatever reason.
06th Feb 2023
First day at IMH, didn't do anything, the entire day was for orientation. Apparently the ward I'm assigned to is for the Early Psychosis Intervention Programme, so my patients are young adults with mild psychosis.
There are so many subtypes of psychiatric wards, it's another eye-opener.
Eyewear has certainly gotten significantly more expensive since my last visit to the optimetrist four years ago. Back then, Zeiss lenses and cheap frames only came up to S$400+ IIRC, but now the same Zeiss lenses cost $400+ already, so with my cheap at about S$100+, they added up to S$600+. Was actually considering some Lindberg frames with engraved rims like a painted ridge around the lenses, but those were over S$1000, far beyond what I'm willing to spend.
17th Feb 2023
Last today of my attachment to IMH. It's afternoon shift today, so there's time for this in the morning. I like how during attachments there is no work to be brought home, but shopping online becomes a challenge as my time becomes limited and inflexible. For example, I want to support a local company selling rejected/excess fresh produce, but they can only offer delivery time slots that are at least four hours long, and I cannot guarantee that I can be home for such long stretches, even on Saturdays since it's more important to go on dates with her. Meanwhile, even though Fairprice offers 2-hour slots, they run out like 3-4 days ahead, so if I am looking at Saturday morning slots, the cart needs to be checked out on Wednesday or even Tuesday.
Not even going to consider frozen food wholesalers who can only offer whole-day slots. This is how people undervalue their time - being flexible with time can help you save so much money.
The issue is not with my freezer though, since it's packed to the brim just prior to this attachment; the challenge is with fresh produce, or fresh fruits to be specific. I have been eating mostly fruits and meal deliveries this fortnight, so the former run out within half a week, and it has become necessary to visit the market for their rather expensive options. The idea of ordering only fruits has also crossed my mind, but it's yet another challenge to hit the minimum spend for free delivery with such an order without exceeding the maximum capacity of my fridge, or choosing unreasonably expensive fruits like cherries.
So a lot of my patients are young adults who got too stressed out over their studies or even loss of a job due to being unable to meet the expectations of their parents or their own expectations that were derived from their parents', leading to hallucinations and suicide. A lot of self-centredness too.
Saw first-hand how different psychiatric nursing is. Focus on hygiene is there, but minimal. Patient interaction is also minimal. 95% of the energy spent by nurses seems to be on observation and recording anything even slightly out of the ordinary. Raised voices between two patients, even if only one of them did it, goes into the routine report. Discreet hand-holding also gets into the report. Mumbling to herself? Report. Tremors? Report. Drinking a lot of water? Report. Patient takes a bit of coaxing to take her medication? Report. It's incredible how much gets into the very succinct reports for every single patient for every shift, and I can understand how all these little details help their doctors make better judgements.
18th Feb 2023
Second date since we matched last year. Let's see how it goes. For some reason, aside from her, I've been on a dry spell recently.
Got to prepare for Monday's attachment. Paediatrics this time.
21st Feb 2023
First time carrying a baby. His parents were touring the ICU with the MSW in preparation for his heart surgery tomorrow, and he woke up during their absence. We student nurses distracted him for a while but eventually he started crying. Checked his diaper, but it was clean. Unlikely to be hungry so soon either. Hence at this point, we decided to try to carry him to his feet, and that stopped his crying for a while, resuming only after a few minutes. We figured out he prefered that his feet didn't touch the bed, so that meant he wanted to be carried. Carrying him stopped his crying instantly, and letting his feet touch the bed made him resume it just as quickly.
So we carried him for probably half an hour till another nurse brought a pram.
26th Feb 2023
Just like in the medical wards and the psychiatric wards, there are patients in the paediatric wards who can be discharged but have nowhere to go beyond that point and are hence stuck in the hospital.
While medical wards tend to have elderly patients who are waiting for months for a place in the nursing homes, in the psychiatric wards and paediatric wards, these patients are abandoned by their previous caregivers and there isn't a place in our system for them since their conditions are technically stable enough to go out and live their lives, but require frequent attention from someone with some level of medical training, eg a toddler with intestinal issues who must be fed liquid directly through a tube attached to his intestine past the problematic point(s) and regularly vomits stomach acid since it isn't used and can't drain into the intestines. A physically able adult caregiver could be trained by us (or even me) to handle the automatic pump for feeding, and to regularly extract his stomach acid through his nasogastric tube. However, he has no such caregiver and the facilities provided by our system cannot give him one as well.
I wonder how he will go to school in the future, since education is compulsory. Without a foundation in kindergarten, he won't fare well in primary school, not to mention all the psychological issues he must have by now from the years of living in the ward cared for only by an ever-rotating roster of nurses.
07th Mar 2023
Didn't know my blog actually has real readers. Hi!
12th Mar 2023
Was having our monthly dinner with some friends when the topic of Qing Ming came up, and realised it's at the beginning of the coming month. Totally forgot about it!
Initially expected AirAsia to be the cheapest but Scoot turned out to be even cheaper with far better departure times. Interesting.
Looked around for a while for hotels but the reviews are mostly crap for anything under S$50/night, but then remembered Airbnb, so... it got a lot easier. Managed to find a studio apartment run by some guys who are probably doing it as a side job given the multiple listings and the great reviews, and it was only S$44/night after adding the cleaning fee. Location was... familiar, and after further digging, realised I'd stayed there before, though might not have been the same host.
So total for flight and accomodation for this 2N stay is just S$177, hence my budget estimate for this trip is under S$300 total.
I don't think I'll even get insurance and bring my laptop. With the TV in the apartment, I probably don't need anything beyond my phone.
22nd Mar 2023
Finished Tyranny finally, after all these months. It was a pretty decent game, but the second and third acts, and the ending, they all felt incomplete. They hinted at many things about Kyros, but left them hanging, like whether Kyros was male or female, and then there was the memory of a girl who also touched the resonator. Also, why did they leave Kyros's intent so unclear, like I could interpret her intention as good when everything pretty much pointed the other way, sealing the deal with her personal instructions to the Archon of Shadows to kill me. If she hadn't done that last bit, there would have been plenty of room for interpretation on her past Edicts and orders, lots of ambiguity for what her intentions were. But the fact that she wanted me killed made all her past instructions to be negative. The Edict that began all these, the one I resolved, therefore had been meant to kill both Archons and myself and simultaneously put the blame on our collective incompetence, rather than to motivate everyone to work together and win. The order to have only one Archon to rule the Tiers was not meant to cull the number of warlords now that the entire continent has been conquered, but instead to make sure I die given that I'm the new Archon with little experience as compared to the other three Archons who've been around for centuries.
The Overlord could have been interpreted as a harsh but fair dictator, but with that assassination, there is little doubt she was just a terrible person driven by fear.
Also, I wish I didn't have to kill the Graven Ashe and wipe out his army. Nerat could also have been more fleshed out rather than being portrayed as a bloodthirsty madman. It was clear that initially, both Archons were meant to be different shades of grey, with both good and bad sides, but later on in the game, they were simply order and chaos respectively.
My tray broke the other evening while carrying dinner, breaking another two bowls in the process, with only the largest bowl miraculously surviving. Totally forgot about the small crack spotted months ago. Never going to use a bamboo tray again. Now looking for a metal tray, because I'd rather deal with corrosion than breaking more stuff. Even wood can mould, so what's tarnish compared to that? At least corrosion can be removed by acid, but mould might seep deep into the wood and become extremely challenging to remove.
Ordered a bedsheet set from Robinsons the other day, and now I realise why these things can cost so much. It really is worth the money, especially with the duvet cover (which I filled with a summer blanket).
It also came with a cheaper bedsheet set meant for summer, will try in the future.
27th Mar 2023
Came back from a 2D1N trip to Genting over the weekend. At least now I know for sure Genting isn't worth it anymore.
Maybe Resorts World is trying to recoup their losses from Covid, or maybe they're trying to rake in as much revenue as possible from the new influx of Chinese tourists, but the minimum bets were pretty ridiculous. Roulette used to be 10 ringgits minimum, texas hold'em 25 (so if betting on all four turns, that's a minimum of 125 ringgits excluding bonus, 150rm with bonus), and now roulette is 50rm minimum, texas 100 (bonus still 25, so total 525rm minimum).
Another comparison is with Marina Bay Sands where, during off-peak hours which is much more easily accessible for us, roulette is S$2.50 minimum.
So, not a single ringgit was spent in the casino during the visit, though watching my friends play was pretty exciting too. The most memorable moment was when the dealer had a royal flush, which made my friends and I leave the table. Fortunately one of my three friends was able to win some money with two straight flushes and a few full houses over the course of the night, so by the time she left she took home about S$1000, which was nice.
The jams were bad though, due to the long weekend at Johor, so the road back to Johor from KL took us seven hours, and even at 12am, the Malaysian checkpoint towards Woodlands took us another 2hours. Probably not worth the nice food at KL. Only got back at about 3am last night, and tomorrow there's a flight to Penang for Qing Ming already. My plants are really suffering, and the signs of overwatering are clear, but there's no other way to compensate for the lack of watering for 1-2 days. My chilis and eggplants are kinda sensitive to that. The manual drip was really a pain to use as it required serious calibration over time, and they look fugly.
It's ironic that I am reluctant to travel yet my passport is being used for all three weeks of my break.
Hesitant about all my possible dates now. I know a course mate has a crush on me and she's good-looking, but she's been dealing with her mental health for over a decade. The nurse a staff nurse at the polyclinic I was attached to earlier introduced to me is flying to Australia for a couple of years, so that's a long-distance at best. Got a match on Tinder who's responsive, but it's online dating again.
Getting a steel tray, and asking some friends who are about to visit Turkey to help me get a copper tray, since copper crafts are part of Turkish culture and history. Anyways, if they can't (since it's big), I'll order a pretty one from Etsy.
