Rant 534 / Cold Coffee Tastes Disgusting Unless Lots Of Sugar Is Added

BP is going to take full responsibility for everything caused by the oil spill.

Well, fuck you! How are you going to compensate for all the dead flora and fauna? Clone them all?

This is why we should stop using oil! This is why we need hamsters on steroids!

Go green! Go hamster power! And steroids!



Hamsters are cheap and easy to breed. They also produce additional energy when incinerated or can be ground into hamster feed, provided they died healthy. Another important feature of hamster energy is that hamsters are 100% biodegradable and emit minimal greenhouse gases until they're cremated in your biomass power plant( a necessary structure if you plan on letting them breed).









Ok so this is the first time I've ever made iced tea. Before this, I've always considered iced tea to be a waste of teabags but today it's so hot I'm making this in the morning to replace my normal hot morning tea.

One teabag, one cup of almost hot water, a little more than one cup of ice cubes and 2 packets of sugar.

This gave me an idea of how much sugar goes into those bottled iced tea they sell outside. Waaaaaaaaaaaaayyy more than 2 packets for half a bottle, that's for sure. More like 6-8, which makes each bottle contain about 12-16 packets of sugar according to my tongue's estimate.

Unless they use fructose, which is sweeter than normal sugar. According to Wikipedia, fructose is 1.73 times as sweet as our table sugar aka sucrose.













An eel was placed in a man's rectum after he passed out as a joke. He died. Ouch. I hope he died without regaining consciousness. I definitely wouldn't want to wake up feeling that in my anus.















An excellent video here on how to open your door with a card... unless you're on the wrong side of the door. If the curve of the bolt is facing the other way, you need another technique.

I was unable to find a good video on how to do that on Youtube, so I decided to spend a few minutes on MSPaint to record this bit of soon-to-be obsolete knowledge.


First, you need a very flexible card that you don't mind ruining, preferably one that can bend more than half pi aka 90 degrees without deforming.

Second, point the card diagonally downwards and slide it in above the lock as shown.


You're going to have to slide it into the S-bend by force if you have a door frame like mine shown below. Don't worry, if you have a flexible card it will bend correctly when you push it in really hard. Paint may get scraped off though. Personally I keep this expired SCV membership card from long ago made of clear plastic for this purpose.

Next, make sure the bottom tip (circled in pic below) is as far as you can make it go by turning the card as close to being horizontal as you can (maybe around a sixth of a pi, aka 30 degrees), but not completely horizontal. This is because you can't see the tip, which must go pass the curved part of the bolt. On the other hand, the closer to being horizontal the card gets, the harder you're going to have to push it downwards.


Finally push it down, with brute force if necessary. The lock and the door will not break and your card is expendable. Furthermore, it's not easy to break a card with a force applied in that plane, no matter its flexibility in the other plane.

It's may not be easy. Because of the distance between your fingers and the point of contact between your card and the bolt, you may find it hard to push downwards and maintain the angle simultaneously. At worst, you're just going to have find another card if it shatters.


The horizontal component of the resulting diagonal force from the side of the card lined in green will push the bolt back, thus opening the door. You will feel the resistance disappear when you succeed.



Disclaimer: This only works on doors with a gap between the door and the frame. If the door is held firmly against the frame, ie no room for the card to go through, this method may not work.







There is also the hard way.



For this you need a tension wrench and a feeler pick. The tension wrench can probably be found in DIY stores or hardware stores. It also looks like it can be replaced by a tiny allen wrench. The feeler pick can be made using the method below.



I haven't tried this yet though because I don't have any hair pins at home.













US police discovered a failed car bomb after street vendors saw smoke from the car, which I suspect was created by the bomb malfunctioning when it was supposed to blow up. I wonder what they're going to do now. How can they get more paranoid than they already are? This should be interesting.