Rant 347 / SupahFlu!

ZOMG SWINE FLU! New and Improved, now with extra lethality!

The Mexican fatality rate of this new strain is 7%, meaning if you get it there is a 7% chance of dying, especially if you're Mexican. If you're Asian like me you're totally fine and you can visit Mexican pig farms without fear.

Influenza has always been one of the more likely reason for a possible case of human extinction. The virus mutates so quickly, it's amazing our body can keep up thus far. Already there have been close calls in our history but we've managed to control them after a while.

This time, it's even more amazing! It's like a viral Captain Planet - when the powers of 4 different strains of the influenzavirus combine, we get this brand new H1N1 virus. It's a combo of a strain of human flu, 2 strains of pig flu and an avian flu.

Though it hasn't spread to Asia, it has proven to be able to transmit between humans. The WHO has raised the pandemic alert level to 4, which means it is capable of spreading among humans. Level 5 and 6 means IT IS F*CKING EVERYWHERE!.

In case you still don't know the symptoms, they are:

-fever
-lethargy
-lack of appetite
-runny nose and sore throat (the usual)
-coughing
-diarrhoea
-nausea
-vomitting

Unfortunately this virus does not reanimate the dead, hence stockpiling food and guns in your basement will not help. Neither do your headshot practices.

This virus also seems to be more lethal among young healthy adults, instead of the children and the elderly.

Now is a good time to convert to Islam, people! Damn, the Prophet was right when he said the pigs are dirty!