No appetite, no interest in anything, keep feeling this longing. All as expected. Hopefully these will tone down soon, although I completely welcome the lack of appetite. I'm not crazy enough to risk malnutrition but eating less for a couple of days should really drive down my appetite and that would be really great.
Vague language is awesome because even when you're actually wrong, you can still sound right.
So now I'm getting my hopes up again. Looks like it will take a lot more time to get over her.
Funny how this is going. Never been this way before. I'm 28, so I've had plenty of crushes, but none has made me lose my appetite for over 24 hours.
As for my hopes, it's because someone more experienced in the dating game told me that on rare occasions, lesbians are willing to go bi for the right man. Another guy told me the secret that she had thought about it but never found the right guy who's worth it. Since none of them know about this blog, I feel safe to say it here. Moreover, if we ever get together, what I've typed here shouldn't be a huge blow to her.
But both have told me not to go directly for her.
About me: I'm not good looking, weigh over 100kg, never had a girlfriend, no real friends currently. My social skills for friends are completely rusted over the last few years and while my ability to talk shop with clients is still there, I still have a poor ability to make small talk.
In the virtual world, at least 2 women have said I'm an awesome guy, while 5 guys have been talking to me daily.
What a huge difference!
In the Game of War, when I left my first and previous alliance, 8 people asked me why and wouldn't settle for a bullshit reply ( I told the entire alliance there were too many ladies around and I wanted a bigger sausage fest). I have never been this popular before in my entire life!
That may not be much to some people, but it's an enormous change to me. Being called one of her favourite people by a woman is huge to me.
48 hours without food! Of course it's ok, I drank some milk and have my morning coffee still. No gastric issue either.
This is fantastic! I've always wanted to cut down on my food intake and now this is really going to reduce my stomach size! Maybe now I can even try a low carb diet because I don't have to fill my meals with rice.
Unfortunately, I've just bought 25kgs of rice, so this is an issue.
4th day, feel almost normal now. On hindsight, damn! I'm so embarrassed!!!
Last night felt weird. Somehow I was filled with some unexplanable emotion that I could do nothing about. Good thing it didn't stop me from sleeping, only made me woke up a few times. Kinda felt like anxiety and it made no sense at all. Anxiety attack?
Been drinking only skimmed milk the last few days so since I'm feeling much better today, I had an entire kg of mandarin oranges for brunch.
I still don't get the urge to eat but neither does my body reject food.
Fantastic.
I still did some light exercises for the last few days and I don't feel particularly weak.
If possible, I'll maintain this diet of skimmed milk and fruits. Already lost 4.5kg within days and although it's unhealthy, I'd like to at least maintain it, if not lose more. Going for IPT later and hopefully this will help me lose more weight.
5th day. I started with one butterhead lettuce and canned sardines, just a tiny 155g can. With some skimmed milk, of course. Since my bro's drinking that, I might as well get some too. Perfect way to get all the nutrition I need without the fats.
Went for a jog at the track nearby. Managed to hit 2.2km before stopping. Panted for an hour. Suspect a minor heart problem.
6th day. Canned tuna in light brine only. Tuna tasted awesome yet I didn't feel hungry. I must be close to normal now and something's wrong with my digestive system. Maybe the milk? No fibre but it's ok. With the lack of solids in my diet, I'm now peeing on both ends.
Funny thing is that she is initiating our chats, even if they've been short due to her work and health. Genuinely surprised. We started chatting in the morning till her boss arrived, and told her she could resume when she's home.
She actually did! Asked me where we left off. Whoa! I am seriously trying very hard to brush this off as just her being her, because no girl has ever initiated a casual conversation with me like this before.
Yes, before this, I was just one of those guys.
Jogged again and ran slightly more than 2.2km but didn't pant as hard. I think my heart wasn't up for that kind of stress yesterday but it's improving now. Still felt a little short of breath until I slept for an hour after that.
7th day now. Wow. I'm really close to normal now.
Went to ION after work to get a cheap suit at G2000 but it was under renovation till mid-November. Of course it wasn't wasted because I also had to do some market research for work.
Didn't buy anything there although I was so tempted. As you may have noticed, I haven't had any meat for a week now, and walking through the food court and restaurants at B4 to find the G2000 was a torture. Even went to the gourmet market for extra pain. Expected to get something nice and vegetarian but ended up with nothing.
But I did get some food at the market near my home. Just lots of mushrooms and cherry tomatoes. Mushrooms for me, tomatoes for my terrapin. Can't always throw generic turtle feed and dried shrimps in there only. For one, they have no vitamin C.
Mushrooms are a great choice because they have less calories than even tuna in brine and I didn't feel like eating anything green and raw without dressings. Mushrooms, on the other hand, can just be boiled in a little chicken broth.
Pretty sure a small bowl of chicken broth won't have many calories, and the packet of stock cubes doesn't mention the nutritional values. Googling it got me the value: 30 calories per cube. I only used a third, maybe a quarter.
Fantastic!
And this bowl of mushroom made me realize how much I miss meat. But I can't; I must lose weight. I'm already feeling lighter after three days of the mad jogging.
No jogging and ate more. Had a sweet potato in addition to the mushroom because I think I need to rest and let my heart recover. I don't think I'm suffering from malnutrition but I still feel a little breathless after the shopping trip.
Clearly appetite is back.
Al Capone. Totally Al Capone hands down.
LOLed at the Al Dente. I must be back to normal now.
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