Rant 1179 / My First Experience With The Notorious Friendzone

I am sad. Disappointed too, but mostly sad because I can feel the urge to cry a little.

That girl turned out to be a lesbian. She eventually agreed that she would go out with me as a friend after a few others urged her to do it, but I must ask: to what end?

False hope! Nothing but false hope, that would be!

Pointless. She's the kind who can't even stand the thought of penetrative sex! Why even bother?

It's 3.28am and I can't sleep. So this is what it feels like to be friendzoned.

No, this is worse than regular friendzone - it's like comparing losing contact with death. This has no chance of success at all, regardless of that tiny hope in me that she would try.

She likes me, but she is gay. Hoping like that is like hoping a gay man would turn straight. Not respectful and impractical.

Life goes on, I say. But what are my chances of ever finding a strong, smart, cute, independent, mature and yet single girl like that at my age?

Will I be single forever?

Still, it's hard to get rid of this matter from my head.

She even offered to bring me to a les club! As exciting as it sounds, I can't imagine how awkward it would be to be the only guy in a place filled with women who are mostly interested only in each other, with the few exceptions being the bisexuals.

I mean I don't mind trying because YOLO but I need to be mentally prepared first. How do I find out what it's like in a les club?

Google.

And then I catch myself still thinking about going out with her. Yet, maybe I should. Didn't some dating tips advised that we should go out with people just to know more people rather than just for the girls?

A lesbian turns out to be the first girl to ever be willing to go out with me. Cest la vie, I guess.

I almost asked if life can get any worse than this! Haha! Of course it can! I should be grateful I'm still doing well for my age in terms of health and wealth. My love life, on the other hand, is so dead I can probably find livelier deserts than this. On Mars.

It's now 3.49am.

I am hoping that sleep will help me get over her but it has proven elusive so far. What do people in my situation do?

3.56am. Perhaps I should give it up and switch on my PC. 

Just recalled someone saying she's too strong for me. I don't know about that because I like strong girls. I can handle being dominated occasionally and I am perfectly confident that I can handle them.

But a lesbian? No wonder she's not held tight by another guy. Guess it all makes sense.

Just wish it was something else. Heck, I was even prepared for a horribly broken family and even abusive parents, but never did I suspect it was homosexuality!