Monday 7 June 2010

Rant 557 / The Rest Of The Malaysian Trip

A minute into the walk a taxi drove came from behind us, stopped at the opposite side of the 4-lane road and horned us. It was the red cab whose driver we spoke to a while ago. Wondering what he was up to, our guide crossed the road and spoke to him. The thought of them agreeing to the price of 30RM did not enter my mind before but it happened.

I kind of suspect if the other drivers found out about it they wouldn't be happy about it. Reminds me of the time when I was in JC, my friend and I found this shop near our school that sold Magic: The Gathering Booster packs at a much lower price than other stores. Then one day, he just started selling at the regular price. When we asked him why, he said other sellers nearby had approached him and told him not to sell it at that price anymore. The other side of democracy, I guess.

From previous conversations between our guide/negotiator and other taxi drivers, I was able to tell that they seemed to be familiar with the Watercolours office, which was the company from whom we booked the package for food and lodgings at the Perhentian Islands. Unsurprisingly, this taxi driver recognized the name "Watercolours" when we told him to go there halfway through the journey.

The old cabbie tried to initiate conversation with our guide a few times and she clearly struggled with all the Bahasa Melayu that he spoke. I think she had to ask him a few times what some words he said meant. Looking back, I think it was stupid of us not to learn a few useful Malay phrases before going on a 9-day trip to Malaysia. And we should have bought a map, but that's another story.

I also suspect the driver spoke with a slightly different accent than the one she was used to. Would not have been strange if Malays in different parts of Malaysia had different accents.

The office was less than I expected. We spotted it as the cab was travelling slowly on a gravel road. Many tourists, many white and carrying their typical huge backpacks, were being led away from the office as we alighted. Not too surprising but I had always had the impression that white people with huge backpacks usually go for cheap accommodations, and nothing on the islands were cheap.

What I thought the office would be was that it would have a glass wall and door like the usual travel agencies' offices. They would all be covered with ads and prices that help insulate the air-conditioned room inside.

Nope. Structurally, the office was a concrete box with walls on 3 sides, with the eastern side of it opened to the world. Within the room was a 2-seater couch, 2 cushioned chairs, a desk, several plastic stools and another chair behind the desk for the staff. There were some other machines, like an ice-cream freezer but they were all locked and shut down. I think that was a decent business idea with some sound logic. Probably went wrong when most of the tourists didn't want overpriced desserts, even if they're cold.

There we waited for the fifth member of the group, who was due to arrive at 10am from Kota Bahru. Spent the time chatting with the Watercolours employee, taking photos of the sunrise at the sea and refusing repeated requests to play bridge (the card game) from one guy in the group. The last was a daily routine that would go on until the final night when the rest of the group finally agreed to it... after I was asleep, fortunately. Apparently it didn't go very well but I'll go into that later.

Also encountered this trio from Johor Bahru whom we had asked for directions to the bus terminal at Jerteh. They said they had pre-arranged transport so we had separated after that. We were surprised to see them again near the office. While our guide, the only female in our group, left to search for a washroom the other 2 guys tried to chat the three girls up. On hindsight I wish our guide had been around. IMO it was rather awkward, but then again I didn't join in the conversation so I can't judge the guys' efforts. I would most definitely not have asked for their ages though.

Took some time to explore the neighbourhood and tried some of the local cuisine. The iced milk tea was a welcomed respite to the heat of the Malaysian climate and I had 2 glasses of it. Their murtabak was delicious but maybe it was because we were hungry. Also tried some of their roti canai aka roti prata. Near the end of the meal we spotted this dish of something wrapped with banana leaves (probably) and barbecued. It was cylindrical in shape and when we asked the man what it was he said it was rice. So we bought one, unwrapped it and found it to be glutinous rice with filled with a small amount of fish.

An interesting thing about the town was that the chicken farmers allowed their chickens to roam the town with no form of security at all. Though we were not attacked and we saw no dead birds on the roads, it was obvious anyone could steal them... if they could handle the claws. These were the legendary "kampong chicken". The Watercolours guy told us these chickens could actually fly a little and that they like to hang out and chill on this tall pole outside his office all the time. I wonder why we didn't see anyone selling chicken rice there.

We got a little nervous as it approached 10am. Our fifth guy still wasn't around and we'd have to wait till noon for the next boat if we missed this one. That was when I tried calling him using my phone and confirmed my suspicion that my phone doesn't work properly. It seemed I could only receive messages and calls but not send nor call anyone when I'm overseas. Might as well be a digital stopwatch.

No one was able to reach him but eventually we received news that he was already at the jetty looking for us. The Watercolours guy led us there immediately. saying that we were probably not too late. Turned out that we were too early. We had time to pay the 5RM bullshit conservation fee, stretch our legs and catch up on old times on the benches while the speedboat made its way there.

Having no experience with this form of transport, I did not expect that there was no walkway or plank to board the boat on. There were these concrete stairways that went into the sea while the speedboat was parked next to it. We had take a large step to get onto it. Almost dropped some stuff into the sea from my pockets. Had filled them too much because I did not expect myself to be jumping or running.

The ride was nice with the sea spraying in my face for 40mins straight. Nothing to talk about except it was my first speedboat ride. Alighting the boat was harder than boarding because there was no pier or whatever on the island. There was a smaller motorboat that was used as a makeshift bridge but we were all forced to step into the seawater in the end. Even this second boat could not move onto the sand.

Checking in at the resort was a different experience from the same process in hotels. For one, we had to take off our shoes before going to the counter. We were also shown an album of the local fauna probably so that we won't shit our pants when we encounter the local huge geckos during our stay.

The F&B system there at the Watercolours Impiani Resort was rather unique. Rather than providing a buffet style meal for the guests, we had 80RM to spend on food and drinks for every night we were staying. With 2 nights and 5 of us, our total credits amounted to 800RM for the entire stay. We could order anything from their ala carte menu and we would pay only when our total bills for the meals exceed 800RM.

The 3D2N package I booked at this resort costed slightly over 400RM per person and includes accommodation at their cheapest rooms and 2 snorkelling trips that was interchangeable with one-day kayak rental. Apparently of the 400RM paid, 160RM of it was for the food.

The rooms were decent, probably because we arrived on a Sunday when most tourists who were here for the long weekend (the Friday was a Good Friday holiday) were leaving. With most of the other occupants spaced far away from us, we had excellent privacy despite the height of our rooms.

Carrying our luggage up there was horribly hard. Right after the resort employee (not the same guy as the one who met us at the office) began to lead us to our rooms, he offered to carry my bag for me. Even with only my backpack on me in which I carry my most important belongings, I was panting hard by the time I reached my room.

It didn't really make sense but the cheapest rooms were the highest rooms called the Hillside Chalets. These were literally built on the hillside with long wooden pillars supporting them. I thought the sea view was nice but it is logical to think that maybe the lower rooms had good views too.

The room was spacious, clean and air-conditioned. There was an open balcony furnished with 2 plastic deckchair-like chairs and a small table for us to relax on. The bathroom was tiny and not exactly clean, though understandable because of its location next to the jungle. The floor of the room, excluding the one in the bathroom which was concrete, comprised of wooden boards that had tiny but visible gaps between them that cards could probably slip through.

The main problem with the accommodation was the power supply. Since all resorts on the Perhentian Islands used their own diesel generators, most save costs by switching them off during the day when guests should be out enjoying the sun and the marine activities. Even though we were told they could switch it on upon requests, our two attempts at it were met with false positive replies adorned with friendly smiles. Typical and not unexpected.

Without electricity from 7am to 6pm, there was no air-conditioning and wifi in the day. As for hot water, the bathrooms were not equipped with heaters anyway. The best way to cool down in that period of time was to get into the sea or stay in the breezy open-air restaurant.

The items on the restaurant menu were overpriced, as was expected from a restaurant of a resort. The cheapest drinks were soft drinks that cost 4RM per can, with a glass of ice. Our favourite drink was the 1-litre Super Large milkshake that cost 19RM. In terms of volume VS price, it was not worth it. 5 cans of Pepsi at about 330ml each would have given us roughly 1650ml of fluids excluding ice for 1RM more.

The reason I didn't mind ordering it was because there aren't many places that offered these huge 1-litre glass mugs of Milo mixed with shaved ice. There were other flavours, not just Chocolate aka Milo, but that was the most memorable flavour.

The food was surprisingly good. Their Chicken Stir-fried in Curry Butter Sauce was very creamy. The only dish that was a letdown was the Mango Curry. It was just Malaysian Curry (another dish on the menu) with cubed mangoes in it but costed twice as much.

Snorkelling was another first for me. The last time I went to a beach, I was still in secondary school. Then, I was visiting my paternal grandfather in China because he was dying of leukemia. My relatives brought my family to a beach during our stay and I did not like the place. First, I realized that if I went far enough I would not be able to stand up and breathe. Second, the beach was bloody rocky.

It is the first that I fear. Yes I do have illogical fears and this is one. My one and only snorkelling trip was not pleasant at all. The fact that I could drown unsettled me greatly even though I was wearing the safety vest. It may have to do with the fact that I have experienced something similar to drowning before, or maybe it doesn't. Either way, I had to make myself breathe deeply several times to calm down.

Panic was something I had to deal with quickly once I entered the water. I was beginning to breathe from my nose instead of through my mouth. I knew I was supposed to breathe through the snorkel from my mouth but I kept forgetting that. I count myself lucky that I stopped myself from breathing through my nose before I could choke. The mask helped too and I had to lift it up several times to drain the water that was collecting at the nose.

The panic also made me forgot to bite down on the mouthpiece to ensure that no water could entire the snorkel there. I had to blow the water out of the snorkel many times before I realized the water was entering from my lips. Then the fear made me forget that and the cycle repeated quite a few times.

All these time I was staying close to the boat while everyone else was following the guide to see the sharks. Even though they seemed to be swimming with breaststroke I stuck with freestyle, which I was more comfortable with. But after a while I tried breaststroke to see if I could do it. Imagine my surprise when my right shoulder dislocated again on my first stroke, an exact repeat of what had happened during the swimming test when I was in the army.

This time though, I know what had happened. When I stretched my arm outwards and began to push down (assuming down is where my legs are), the force I exerted on the water caused a reaction of the same magnitude and opposite direction on my shoulder. The upward force on my arm was what dislocated it at the shoulder.

Obviously I panicked again. By this point I was getting used to the panic attacks and immediately forced myself upright and breathe slowly and deeply while using my left hand to hold my right arm that was curled on my chest. I knew if I didn't put it back things could get really difficult, so I risked the pain and tried to push my arm back into its original position.

It strangely didn't work. My left hand, holding my right lower arm that was curled in a V-shape, was pushing it rightwards but my right upper arm wasn't popping back into the joint. In desperation, I pushed harder and voila! I felt the pop and everything felt right again. Interestingly, the pain was almost absent.

With that problem solved, I decided to never try breaststroke ever again until I get a plastic tendon for my right shoulder too. That probably will never happen, given the amount of pain and suffering the surgery on my left shoulder gave me.

It would have made sense to climb back into the boat and rest, but I wanted to get myself used to swimming in the sea. Overcoming this fear could be very useful in the future because one can never know when and where accidents will happen. So I decided to swim around a bit, float face-down to stare at the little fishes swimming around me and relax.

Floating face-up was a bad idea. True, it was nice to feel the fishes nip at me with their tiny mouths but the waves were a problem I had never encountered when I floated on my back in swimming pools. Never try to float on your back in the sea.

Meanwhile I think one or two of my friends swam back to check on me. Didn't tell them anything other than about my fatigue. It was not like I was actually going to drown with my vest on.

All the struggling was really quite strenuous. It wasn't long before I felt my legs cramping every time I curled them up for a leg-only breaststroke. Such a thing could only be accomplished with a safety vest on since the arms were necessary only to keep myself afloat. So I began to try to get one foot on the ladder on the side of the boat.

That was when one my friends returned, saying he was getting tired too. When I got to the top of the ladder I was unable to see how I could swing my leg onto the boat before I fell. My arms were in no condition to keep my balance by holding on to the ladder, which was only slightly higher than the edge of the boat. No one was on the boat to help me get on board, so my solution was to let myself fall and try to land on my back which was cushioned by the thick vest.

It probably didn't appear like a deliberate act to the my friend and the passengers on the nearby boats because I heard some shouts from several people. The fall didn't go exactly as planned and I landed on my knee first before I rolled onto my back. My leg also manage to hook the portable ladder up and shifted it such that my friend couldn't climb up. So I had to get up (and showed everyone I was fine) and replaced the ladder.

I didn't snorkel for the rest of the trip and just took random photos with a camera. I did go back into the water near the end when we stopped at this tiny stretch of beach on one of the islands. There we played with a sea cucumber that probably got pretty annoyed at all the pinching when we lifted it up so many times. What I didn't expect was that it could keep its shape when we lifted it up for so long it turned into a V-shape, though it did revert to its original state after a while.

The couple who went snorkelling with us in the same boat were amazing. They were probably quite experienced and didn't put on the safety vests, which our group quickly abandoned too. I wonder if they lived close to the sea back in the Netherlands where they were from.

The first night was a nightmare. Going up the stairs to my room in the day was tiring enough, but when I found myself lost at night with the few signs the resort put up all hidden in the darkness, things got even worse.

How would I have known I would find 2 other rooms before I would find mine? All I knew about my room was the number and that it was at the top of a flight of concrete stairs. The trial and error process was incredibly tiring. By the second room my legs were soft and lifting my knees made my calves cramp up.

Worse, there was no railings next to the stairs and I was alone. By that point my mind was desperate enough to consider the idea of rolling down the stairs with my arms around my head. That notion was dismissed because there was nothing at the bottom of the stairs to stop me from rolling on into the grass and whatever was hiding in the darkness, and there was definitely plenty of wildlife in there. I wouldn't want to be covered in soldier ants when I got up.

So I took a short break. Didn't want to sit because there were ants and flying bugs everywhere. Couldn't tell if they were harmless or not in the dim light. Stood on locked knees at the top of the stairs, one hand on the rails that ended only a few steps down for balance and without any means to contact others, and breathed deeply for a minute. Miraculously, that was enough to improve the condition of my legs such that I could descend without them giving way as I landed on each of them.

For 3 days after that, my legs did not ache the way I expect it too. Usually there would be a dull ache for a few days. This time, they were always tired and there was pain in my thighs when I use them as if I was overexerting them every day even before I wake up. I used to think that if I get that dull ache for days it meant I had pushed myself to my physical limits. I was wrong. This is closer to it. There was no ache; it was pain.

But I didn't mention anything other than feeling tired. It was not a lie, just an understatement. Plus I didn't want to miss anything in Penang even though the condition lasted till the second day there. And I was curious how bad things can get. My conclusion is below.

If you don't wake up feeling like your limbs are still soft, if you don't feel pain in your limbs when you try to get out of bed, you were nowhere close to your limits.

I suspect there is yet another level I could go before I die of exhaustion but I have no reason to go that far. Even the above was caused by desperate necessity.

Anyway I made up my mind not to join the snorkelling trip for the second day. Instead I enjoyed the tranquillity of the empty beach and the sea breeze as I read World War Z from morning till early afternoon when they returned. The silence was something I'll never get at home even in a library. In the city there was always a low hum that cannot be avoided unless you're in a soundproof room. But in a soundproof room the silence is unnatural and claustrophobic.

I spent the afternoon with CZY doing absolutely nothing while we waited for the rest of the group to finish their hiking to Long Beach. Didn't expect much to be there, didn't plan to join the nightly party, so I just stayed at our resort's restaurant and tried their Watermelon Milkshake.

It turned out that we were somewhat fortunate to not join them because the path was uneven and very long. I'd have been exhausted if I went with them.

Dinner was BBQ seafood. I expected that we would be given a pit and raw seafood, but the cook barbecued everything for us in the kitchen. Not worth the price IMO but we couldn't have known. The normal items on the ala carte menu would have been tastier and cheaper.

Made a lot of noise and annoyed the white couple sitting close to us in that part of the restaurant. They were just reading there while having a quiet dinner. Noticed the guy kept staring at us. Pretended not to see thatand didn't mention anything to the group. Did try to shush them once when they got really loud but didn't bother after that because it felt like I was treating my friends like children.

On the third day of the Perhentian part, we left. Expected that I could avoid the seawater like I did alighting the speedboat on the first day but could not. Had to step far enough that my shoes were completely immersed in the water, walked around in wet shoes till we reached the Tanah Merah bus terminal where I changed to HX's spare sandals. A few years back when I was in HK with the Toastmasters, I had already found out that I could walk in soaking wet shoes from morning till late afternoon without creating any trouble for my feet, so I didn't worry about it that day.

Good thing I had lots of extra space in my luggage bag to put my shoes in. They were first placed in plastic bags of course. Good to have too many plastic bags, just like tissue paper. Should bring black tape next time and I'll be like MacGuyver. I'm already carrying a Swiss Army knife on me all the time.

The bus was a messy affair. CM had booked a ticket for the bus from Kota Bahru to Butterworth before we left Singapore because the lady at the booth told her we could board it at Jerteh if we called them in the morning.

In the (obviously illegal) van-taxi we borrowed the driver's handphone to call Transnasional's office number that was given to us when CM bought the tickets. The guy on the phone said no, hung up and pissed us off. I began considering taking a train but HX dismissed the idea because it would take too long. A train would have to go to KL first, which made the journey into a V-shape. The Transnasional guy changed his voice and pretended to not understand English for the next few calls, which surprised me.

In the end we reached there and found that man on the phone to be in charge of the Jerteh office. CM and HX, who were using the phone, recognized the voice. I didn't listen in. Just went to buy a bottle of water because I thought we needed it. Cost 2.20RM for a 1.5-litre bottle, thought it was a ripoff but wasn't in the mood to argue. Would have been cheaper to get a refill for 2RM back at the resort but what was done was done.

The trio of JB girls helped us talk to that Transnasional guys and eventually we were told to get into 2 taxis that would drive us to Tanah Merah to catch that bus. 40RM each but we were desperate. The next bus was departing much, much later in the day.

The girls themselves had a problem with the bus company. They had bought tickets thinking it was a return journey but it turned out to be 1-way. Should have asked for the girls' names but I was too distracted by my own fatigue and thirst. Never found out what happened to them; they didn't come with us since they were headed for JB, not Penang.

Bus ride was alright. Almost finished my book on the bus. The journey was interrupted by a few stops, one of which was for lunch at a restaurant where I had the only Ramly Burger in the entire trip in Malaysia. For 3.50RM I had a "Burger Special" which meant it was a Ramly Burger with egg. Expected to find more in Penang and KL but never did. Should have bought more, but wouldn't have known.

At Penang we alighted at the Penang Sentral bus terminal where we asked the information counter for which buses we should take to Sunway Hotel. She gave us a few buses but in the end we took a ferry to Penang Island instead. On the ferry HX met this really friendly Malaysian Chinese guy who led us to a free bus that took us to a place near the hotel. I think we alight somewhere along Penang Road but not sure.

He guided us to somewhere close enough to see our hotel and there he went on his business while we walked to our hotel. I didn't get his name and we never took a photo with him. Again, too bad.

Pretty tiring, lugging our luggage around like that. Eventually we did reach the hotel in the late afternoon. I was sweating like mad and my handkerchief was drenched. My hands were all wet and I had to wipe my right hand on my pants so that it wouldn't wet the papers when I signed them. When asked by a porter if he should carry our stuff for us, I decided to reject the offer to save on tips. Was good that I did because it would have been harder to sneak my friends up if the porter was with us.

I was then told that because the type of room I ordered was fully booked, I would be getting a free upgrade. Didn't ask what room it was going to be, took 2 days for me to realize the upgrade meant unlimited internet access, ie from the Deluxe Twin to the e-Deluxe Twin. Extremely useful because we needed to do some research on where to go in Penang.

Before leaving the counter the receptionist told me the towels weren't ready yet and that the housekeeping would be there shortly to deliver them, but they were already in place when we entered the room. Made us waste some time waiting for the housekeepers thinking there were going to be more towels.

The rest of the day was a blur. The next thing I remember was dinner. We had it just downstairs where all the street hawkers set up their carts in the evening. Had fried carrot cake (sucks), oyster omelette (decent for 10RM), curry mee (basically laksa with prawns, cockles, squid and cubes of pigs' blood), cendol (in Penang they add sarsi), roasted meat (turned out to be nothing special), BBQ stingray (bloody spicy), BBQ chicken wings (nice but not unique) and an iced nutmeg drink (exotic, refreshing). Never managed to try the asam laksa and char kuay teow.

Next day was more walking. CM and HX wanted to find Cheong Fat Tze Mansion on foot. Followed halfway before I surrendered. CZY and I separated from the group and went to the KOMTAR bus terminal where we tried to find the bus that would bring us to Gurney Plaza. This time there was no information booth and the name "Gurney Plaza" appeared nowhere.

Tried asking 2 locals but they gave different directions. In the end we took a cab for 15RM. This Malay driver, for some reason, turned on his meter as he drove. When we reached Gurney Plaza, it read 7.70RM. That would have been pretty cheap for a 10-min ride. No wonder all the Malaysian cabbies refused to use the meter.

Walked some more in the mall looking for the MacDonald's where the group had agreed to meet at at 7pm later. It was only about 3pm then, so we decided to catch a movie while we waited. At first wanted to watch Robin Hood but it was all full until 6pm. We would be late if we booked for that slot.

Finally we decided on a 5.20pm slot for Bounty Hunter. Also bought tickets for 11.20pm slot for Prince of Persia. Explored the arcade next door after that trying to decide what to do in the meantime. Decided on shopping because CZY wanted to buy a pair of shoes. Found a Converse store while wandering in randomly directions, which he had said he wanted to buy from. There he got a pair of dark red Converse Classic. Don't remember the price.

Satisfied, we continued our search for the MacDonald's. The Converse staff said it was on the first floor, so we went looking for an escalator. Before we found the escalator we spotted an A&W restaurant. Because A&W can't be found in Singapore anymore, we could not resist eating there.

I had a beef Coney Dog with cheese, curly fries and a Double Scoop root beer. CZY ordered a similar meal with a few differences that I can't recall. My order costed me 15.47RM, which I think was alright.

Dozed off a bit after the meal, then went to the cinema for the film. Reached there slightly too early, so we explored the arcade again. Saw these 2 students trying out the new Rambo game at the entrance. Lame gameplay, uses clips from an old Rambo film all the time. Contra was a far better game than it.

Entered the theatre after that. We were the first to reach it. Too full from A&W so we bought only a medium Iced Lemon Tea. Film was alright, not really into romantic comedies. Thought the cuts were a little too obvious. The Malaysian censorship removed all expletives from films below the R18 rating.

Received a call from an unknown number during the film, didn't answer. Good thing I turned it to silent mode. CZY got it too and told me CM was calling us. He SMSed her to tell her of our situation.

Met CM at MacDonald's, thought it was strange she was alone. Wondered why they weren't inside enjoying a milkshake since it wasn't available in Singapore. She filled us in on what happened when we left. HX had vomitted a lot, probably due to food poisoning. Thought it strange that diarrhoea wasn't mentioned. Found GZ and HX at the entrance of the mall.

Discussed his condition and the tickets, finally decided on selling the tickets. Took an hour or so but we sold it at the net loss of 6RM. Apparently even the tickets for slots past 12am was sold out so demand for our tickets was high. Makes sense because Wednesday was movie day and all tickets were priced at 6RM except for Prince of Persia which cost 10RM.

I waited with HX outside while they sold the tickets and had their A&W dinner. Chatted a bit, found he was having stomach cramps. He laid down and rested while I watched our belongings. There was nothing I could do short of bringing him to a hospital, which was not necessary.

They eventually returned and even brought some A&W takeaway. Didn't bother to find out what because I was not feeling hungry. Settled on taking a cab, a single one for 5 if possible. GZ insisted on asking for meter fare, which we had tried several times before and had already figured that no Malaysian driver would agree on that. After seeing the meter at work, I could understand why.

So GZ and CZY went to the nearby taxi stand to ask for offers. The plan was to try to get one cab while GZ did his best to persuade them to use the meter. His persuasive skills were such that he never got us to play bridge with him despite countless attempts over the past 4 days, so the result is obvious. CZY also failed to get a single cab to take 5 people, so we ended up with 2 cabs, each costing 15RM.

Slept soon after showering due to fatigue, felt something in my bowels but thought I could hold it in till the morning, something I do occasionally. Wrapped myself in a bed cover and KO'ed on the floor where I had agreed to sleep on that night. 5 people in a twin bed room means there's always at least 1 sleeping on the floor.

Woke up a bit later when everyone was still talking and watching TV. Felt extremely cold and shivering a little. Got up to go to the bathroom, checked the air-con control on the way there. While trying to focus my tired eyes on the digits printed on it, someone said to me they had already adjusted it to a warmer temperature before.

When my eyes finally saw the numbers clearly, I was annoyed that they had set it to below 10 degrees Celsius, the absolute coldest. I had and still have some nasty things to say about that but I'm not going to type any of that here.

Woke up again later feeling very warm. Everyone was asleep. I was not drenched in sweat, which did not make sense. Together with the fact that I was shivering before, my logic said I was having a fever. Not good. Went to take a drink of water, checked my handphone for the time (it was 1am) and hoped that more sleep would get rid of the fever. Meanwhile, bowels felt only slightly more uncomfortable but still very tolerable.

Later at night, disaster struck. Woke up with my ass feeling wet. Hoped it was just the cold air and tested with my fingers. Things were much worse than I thought. I have never shat in my sleep before so I was shocked. Immediately got up, took my luggage bag (needed a change of shorts and each second I remained in the room the stench would spread more) as quietly as I coul into the bathroom.

Stood for a second unable to decided whether to clear my bowels or go out to take the bed cover in. If my shorts were wet, the bed cover I was sleeping in would be too. First priority was the change my shorts but if I changed my shorts I might as well clear my bowels as well. Also didn't want to risk dripping and couldn't look behind to see if it could happen. That would make an unsolvable problem. So I left the bed cover outside. Took 5mins and made lots of noise. Practically pissing from my ass. Extremely bad diarrhoea, suspected it was food poisoning. What was not making sense was I did not feel any nausea and felt no cramp after that.

Anyway, took out a plastic bag from my luggage for my soiled shorts and boxers. Went out to roll up my bed cover and went back into the bathroom. Checked for stain and when confirmed, carefully made sure the soiled area was in the centre of the roll and left it next to the toilet bowl.

Old plastic bags are known to have holes sometimes and I didn't want to risk that, so I searched the drawers for something. Found the laundry bags and knew they were what I needed. Threw the filled plastic bag in one and made a knot as tight as I could. Satisfied that no smell could escape from it, I put the bag in my luggage bag and brought it out into the room. By then some were awake. I hope none were before I rolled up the cover but I don't think I will ever find out. Too embarrassing to discuss.

I knew it would also be very embarrassing if anyone asked why there was a bed cover rolled up in the bathroom but I had no choice. No one did except GZ. This is one reason I suspect they were awake before I took it into the bathroom.

Next day was bad. Couldn't eat anything, kept feeling like I needed to shit. Kept food intake to a minimum. Again, thought it strange that I felt no stomach ache or cramp. Tried the hotel breakfast buffet but only had some plain porridge with ikan bilis and preserved vegetables and some fruits.

We went to try the pork porridge just next to the hotel. It didn't just contain pork but also pigs' intestines (large and small) and liver. The large intestines were cut into pieces and boiled beforehand. The small ones were also cut but deep fried. Oddly absent was the pigs' blood. The porridge was good but because of my lack of appetite I did not eat much of it. We all shared 1 bowl of porridge. That's how bad our collective appetite was.

We watched Prince of Persia at a nearby mall later, then Nightmare on Elm Street with HX. Think it was at Times Square Penang (what's with the Malaysians' fetish for this name "Times Square" anyway?). CM wanted to visit the gym and GZ and CZY wanted to shop when we decided to buy tickets for the second film. Think they all just wanted to avoid watching a horror movie.

Both movies were good. Nightmare was pretty scary. I like the fact it was not as gory as most of the recent American horror films.

Went back expecting the rest to be in the room, but no one was. Decided to go to the gym to find CM but when the lift door opened, GZ and CZY came out. After we entered our room, CM arrived too.

On the cab back on the previous night the driver had recommended to CZY, GZ and I a steamboat restaurant near our hotel, so we decided to take a look to see if we should have our dinner there that night. Found the food to be satisfactory but not very unique. Had also wanted seafood but cheap seafood could not be found nearby.

GZ didn't want to have dinner at the steamboat restaurant because the food was too normal. Everyone agreed but no one had a better idea. He wanted seafood but we would have to travel some distance to find a place for good seafood. That was a bad idea considering how CZY, HX and I were all ill. HX had to repeatedly ask GZ if he had a better idea before he finally understood that this was the best idea we could come up with. Took some effort, pissed us off a bit, but finally he agreed with this option.

5mins into the dinner I stopped eating. Every bite I swallowed, my stomach felt weird. Had lost my appetite ever since the diarrhoea began so I couldn't eat much anyway. They wanted to have some durians from the stall outside but I was in no mood to eat anymore, so I left and returned to the hotel. When they returned they brought a box of durians (without the shells) into the room. They planned to eat here but CZY and I persuaded them not to. It's not that we dislike durians but there are a few other obvious issues to consider here.

Here's one of the issues which I mentioned to HX that night. Watched this on TV once, maybe Discover Travel and Living, but this is an article describing it. Some hotels actually fumigate the rooms if you ate durians inside.

So HX sealed the box within a ziplock bag and had to make a decision between storing it in the fridge or the safe. In the end, it was kept in the fridge. Despite the 2 boxes and the sealed bag, we could still smell the durian each time we open the fridge.

Slept early again. Before falling asleep, heard GZ asking a few times if it was possible to cancel the Malacca part of the trip, which was only the last 2 days. Couldn't resist saying that the hostel was booked so there was nothing to be discussed. KO'ed after that.

On the fourth day, two of us went for the buffet breakfast. Can't recall who. I had the complementary Lipton tea for breakfast. Everyone got up late, ate slowly and took their time to pack up so that we got ready only at between 11am-12pm, just in time to check out. CM hid the box of durian in her bag and rushed out of the hotel when we exited the lift. (I can't believe my computer's dictionary does not include "durian" or "durians".)

Followed HX's usual habit (he claimed to buy bus tickets only on the day he needed them when he was travelling in Thailand before this trip) and we bought bus tickets for 4 to KL. It was more expensive than the price the shop quoted on the night before but we didn't have a choice.

While we waited, CZY and GZ went to the MacDonald's for lunch. HX and CM opened the box and consumed half the durians. They had 2 boxes of different durians within the box. One was the usual yellow while the other was orange. No idea what the types were and I've never paid much attention to the specifics of this food. According to all 4 after they finished them, the orange was more expensive, can't be found in Singapore but was inferior to the yellow one. Didn't try them, had no appetite.

HX tried to ask around for directions to Penang International Airport so that CM can take a bus there later but the only employee present at the travel agency drove to work and was not familiar with the buses. He then tried to ask this old man who was waiting for something at the agency but he did not speak Mandarin. It was only just before we left that I noticed he spoke Cantonese.

A van was arranged to bring us to Sungei Nibong bus terminal, where the actual coach was waiting. The trip to KL was uneventful. There was a stop but I did not alight.

When we finally reached KL, the first locals to greet us were these taxi drivers who offered to drive us to our hotel for 60RM. Tried to renegotiate the price to 30RM but they asked for 40RM at the end. Rejected them and followed the locals all of whom seemed to be going to the terminal behind.

There HX found that there was a taxi stand where people could buy taxi tickets. When we asked the booth for the price to go to The Nomad Sucasa, our hotel, the quote was 17.60RM. That, I believe, was the official price and this made the price from the first taxi drivers we met insanely expensive. We were fortunate they rejected even 30RM.

So we bought a ticket and boarded a taxi. Again, the journey was uneventful other than the traffic jam probably because our hotel was located at the Jalan Ampang, which was a central commercial district in KL and it was the peak hour. Gave the driver a 10RM tip, should have given 5 instead. Didn't split the cost of the tip with the rest.

Checking in was smooth. Again, I was told I would be getting an upgrade. This time I asked for the difference and all it was was that the room I was getting was recently renovated.

The lift was different from those in most hotels I've stayed at in that I had to insert my key card to enter it on the first floor. Not unexpected because I've read about such security measures in other 4 or 5-star hotels. The Nomad Sucasa All-Suite Hotel had 4 stars. At least they didn't require everyone who entered to possess a key card like some that I've read about.

The room was amazing. I've only stayed in a suite once before and that was in Thailand during a secondary school trip. I was told then that it only costed 50SGD per person that night for a twin bed suite and breakfast. This twin bed suite costed the 4 of us 280RM total.

There was a bedroom and a living room combined with a dining area and kitchen. Bathroom was huge, with a glass cubicle for shower and a nice wide bathtub next to it. I had half-expected a jacuzzi when CZY exclaimed in joy about the tub as he first checked the bathroom. Kitchen included almost everything one would need for a long-term stay, including cooking and eating utensils and even a towel.

In short, The Nomad Sucasa All-Suite Hotel was really an apartment hotel. If not for that night, the stay would have been a fantastic and luxurious experience. The one thing I did not expect was the inferior quality of the soap and shampoo provided. It was a 4-star hotel after all so I had certain expectations. In fact those stuff they had in the bathroom was worse than those supplied by Sunway Hotel. The one thing nice about them was the cool clear-plastic tubes.

And oh, I love that huge mirror covering almost the whole wall in the bathroom too. Never seen one in a hotel room in real life before. Useless but greatly added to the looks of the room.

Dinner was much harder. The location was horrible because there was only 1 mall nearby and that was the bloody high class Ampang Walk. The Siam Bodyworks, which CZY wanted to have a Thai massage at, was located there. Found out they only accepted appointments, can't just go in and ask for a massage. So we planned to call them later.

In the end, we walked all the way to the twin towers and explored a mall there. Had to decide between Manhattan Fish Market and KFC, but we thought the former was too expensive and we were in the mood to try the Malaysian KFC.

I was not comfortable with eating out because I found my bowels unpredictable. I told them I would wait for them to finish dinner there before buying takeaway, but they insisted on eating at the hotel together instead.

So we bought a 12-piece chicken meal that came with a soccer poster. HX also had the foresight to ask for a bag of ice because making ice in the freezer would take too long. Also found out they did not offer Hot and Spicy chicken in Malaysia. Instead, they had Pepper Crunch, which had black pepper instead of chilli powder. I prefer that to Singapore's Hot and Spicy chicken.

The walk back was very tiring. I found myself unable to keep up with HX who was trying to reach our room before the chicken gets soggy. My lack of stamina might have been due to the fact that I didn't eat much during the day because I can usually keep up with his normal pace as long as he doesn't run.

Upon reaching Ampang Walk, which was next to the hotel, they could not resist buying some cheesecake from the Secret Recipe store inside. I waited a bit when I reach the entrance, then told them I would go back to the room on my own.

Took a shower, didn't bother with the tub even though I should have tried it. Wasn't in the mood for a bath. By the time I got out, they were starting dinner.

Everything was good except for the coleslaw, which we had forgotten to change to a whipped potato. The coleslaw tasted funny, ie disgusting. Didn't finish it.

When the 1-litre Pepsi ran out, HX and CZY went down to buy some drinks. Returned with a packet of Boh tea that came in "teapot sachets".

After the dinner, GZ and HX went to the lobby to use the free wifi. Internet access was expensive in the room but it was free of charge at the lobby. HX wanted to do some research on what we could do there the next day and talk to some people, while GZ wanted to play Utopia and weiqi, two things he was unable to resist each day we had access to the Internet. Yep, he played them both constantly whenever we were in our room in Penang and even tried to find ways to play at the Perhentian islands.

Meanwhile, I made tea while CZY took out his cheesecake because he felt that cheesecake goes well with tea. When I spotted the teaspoons and saucers, I could not resist setting them up with the teacups and teapot. Was curious how this affected the experience of tea-drinking. Result was that there was no practical difference other than giving us more things to wash after the meal. Made us feel posh too, but that was not worth it. Looked frickin British though, drinking tea in tiny teacups with saucers and teaspoons.

Later when they finally had their baths and showers, we learnt that GZ had never used a bathtub in his entire life. He was not even aware that he should fill it with hot water instead of cold tap water, which he told us he was doing. Like I've said many times before in real life, we will never understand GZ.

Sleep was horrible for me that night. CZY had told everyone how badly he slept the night he shared the bed with GZ (said he felt like Xiao Long Nu who slept on a string) but that did not prepare me for what was to come. The two beds in the suite were parked together so 4 of us shared one giant bed. The arrangement of our positions were CZY, HX, me, then GZ. I thought I was tired enough that I could sleep through anything GZ was capable of in his sleep.

I was wrong, so very wrong.

GZ began snoring before I did. That had happened a few times before. Nothing abnormal. But then, he began moving. I turned right to face HX to sleep on my side after a while. That made me occupy less space on GZ's side. Within minutes, GZ moved in and was pushing against me on my back.

After a while, I got uncomfortable and had to push a little against HX to sleep on my belly. GZ continued to push against me. For the rest of the night until pre-dawn, I was gradually being pushed towards HX till I was sleeping right on top of the gap. If CM had seen us that night she would have gotten jealous of me. Fortunately it's not gay unless balls are touching.

At pre-dawn things got even worse. I woke up feeling cramped and got a little pissed. Decided to push again GZ harder. Amazingly he counter-attacked despite being completely asleep!! First he began rolling against me like some sort of human steamroller, then he kicked my legs in his sleep. It was like his subconscious had a great fear of the edge of the bed and he was angrily trying to get away from it. I pushed myself up and saw he was basically occupying 4/5 of the single bed with lots of space near the edge.

As if that was not enough, when he regained consciousness at dawn he went out to sleep on the couch without a word as if we were making it hard for him to sleep.

I think HX didn't sleep well that night too.

John and Agnes arrived later that morning. The hotel was nice enough to provide free parking even for friends of guests. Told them to take a nap in our bed but they refused. At about 11am we got a call from the hotel to remind us to check out at 12. At 11.30am we checked out and took John's car to Malacca.

At Malacca John somehow managed to find the bus terminal. It was Melaka Sentral I believe. There HX found bus to Singapore and bought a ticket. The rest of us then got back into the car and went to Number Twenty, the hostel I had booked for that night.

During the search for Jonker Walk, where the hostel was located, John asked us if we wanted to go back to Singapore that night and just let the hostel charge us for nothing because of my health. I seriously considered that but we decided to wait and see.

Jonker Walk was pretty hard to find though John managed to spot it after some random wandering. We were unable to park there since the entire street was blocked off such that we could only walk in. So he parked the car near the entrance and we searched for the hostel on foot without our luggage, thinking we would bring them in after we found it.

The street was longer than we thought and the hostel was practically at the other end of it. When we rang the doorbell, no one answered. As we tried to call the number posted on the door, a few guests arrived and opened the gate to enter. We slipped in behind them, telling them we were checking in while we took our shoes off just inside the gate.

Following them up the stairs, we found what seemed to be the reception desk empty. So we rested at the couches close by and looked at the amenities provided. There was a huge flat screen TV and a few couches and some chairs. A computer and a book also in the area. While we were looking around, CZY searched the desk and found a number to call in such a situation while GZ read the book in which previous guests wrote reviews of the place.

The number CZY called turned out to be the number of the owner of the hostel, who said his employee would be there soon. And he was right. We showed him my printed confirmation papers and he went to the desk to check us in. I followed and he apologized to me saying he was in the showers before.

I signed some papers, paid for the rooms and key deposits (10RM per set of keys). For his part, he handed me 3 sets of keys, each containing a room key and a key for the gate to the hostel. Each key chain was also labelled with a Post-it label with the security code written on them, which we would need whenever we had to unlock the gate. The gate was always locked with the digital lock and it was additionally locked with a metal lock after midnight.

The rooms were much better than I expected. Though all the floorboards creaked and converted the force from our footsteps into sound energy very efficiently (just like all wooden floors), I was used to walked on them. Each room had a very clean bed (or two in the twin bed rooms), with a towel per guest, lamps, air-con and a dustbin. Very simple but clean.

2 bathrooms were shared between the rooms on each floor. These were clean to a certain extent but you can't possibly avoid hairy drains when several guests are using the same bathrooms every day. At least the toilet bowl was clean and free of stains.

There was a dining area on the second floor where potable water was provided. A jug of water at room temperature and a vacuum flask for hot water were found there together with toasters and lots of glasses and cups. That was where the complementary breakfast was provided.

Rested a bit before exploring the night market at Jonker Walk, which was starting to get busy at pre-dusk. We had dinner at this restaurant which offered chicken rice balls. Each of us had 2 of those in addition to half a kampong chicken (steamed and served in light soy sauce) and roasted meat and char siew that we shared.

The rice balls were tiny at about 4cm in diameter and were quite expensive. I could see these were cooked after being shaped into balls because of the smoothness on the outside. The chicken was delicious and the rest were nothing special.

After that we began to really explore the night market as it was starting to really fill up. Soon it got to a point where we were being squeezed on all sides. Uncomfortable, tiring. Walked around quite a few times. Once to explore the length of the market and another to get some clothes from our luggage so that we didn't have to lug our big bags through the crowd... except for John.

John himself didn't bring much but GZ did. GZ also needed to find a washroom before we reached the car and told us he would meet us at the entrance of the hostel even though we were going to the car to get our stuff. After CZY and I took our things, John and Agnes probably wanted to wait till they got the car into Jonker Walk after the night market closed before getting their clean clothes. But GZ wasn't there, so John took his huge duffel bag for him to the hostel.

After we got our stuff, a local woman told us it was not safe to park here and that we may get a parking ticket. She then told us there was a parking lot very close by that charged 2RM per car. Not wanting any legal troubles, John drove his car there. The parking lot was really a huge grassy field with some old men directing the cars. The guy who came to our car told us it was not safe (again) to leave our car in the darker area of the field overnight, but we didn't have a choice. So he advised John to return after midnight to park his car near his home. I think he ignored that and just parked his car outside the entrance of the hostel later that night.

We came back to find another car parked in that space we left, probably belonged to someone related to that woman who warned us. Not surprising, a tiny bit annoying but 2RM was not much to get irritated over anyway.

Went back up, put down our stuff and went down for one last trip to the night market, this time to the other end that we didn't explore because there was only a very short stretch of the street. At the very end of the street we found a large shop named San Shu Gong (translate to "Third Granduncle") where lots of traditional food was sold, all nicely packaged with the shop's name printed on them.

Bought some white coffee because we missed Ipoh. We had skipped Ipoh when we left Penang because we were bringing our luggage along. Also bought some satay ikan bilis, jackfruit chips and sweet potato chips. Wanted to try some of the fresh food they were selling there but all the tables were filled. When we left, a fireworks display started. Took a video with my phone but it was of horrendous quality. So I stopped that and used my camera instead.

When it ended after a few minutes we returned to our rooms. There I realized I forgot about soap. Luckily I had accidentally left the packaged bar of soap from the Watercolours resort in my backpack which I was always carrying, though it was a little hard to clean my hair with it. Did find a way to do that though.

Slept soon after that because I was really tired. Just after I went to bed John came in to ask something which I cannot remember now. I think my brain was already shutting down by then. Before I went unconscious I recall hearing and seeing another fireworks display.

The next morning I washed up as best as I could without my toothbrush which I had also left in the car and gave John and Agnes a wakeup visit at 9am, which we had agreed upon because we had to check out at 11am according to the hostel's rules. Agnes was already up and was opening the door before I could knock. Talked with John a bit before CZY arrived to wake them up. Later went down to wake GZ up. His door wasn't locked and he quickly got up when I entered.

Didn't bother with the complementary breakfast; it was just toast with butter or kaya. Instead, after checking out we went to a shop nearby to have some noodles and whatever. John had asam laksa while I had seafood soup. GZ ordered curry chicken noodles which was merely normal curry chicken poured onto a plate of yellow noodles. Can't remember what Agnes and CZY had. The seafood soup was really just their soup they use for their noodles served with their niang taupok and some fishballs.

Before we left Malacca CZY and I ordered half a kampong chicken each from the same restaurant we had our dinner at the night before. John then drove at 160km/h for most of the trip to Singapore and helped us reach home with our chickens still fresh.

The journey home was somewhat interesting. Even though John was mad enough to hit 170km/h a few times, there were a car or two that forced us to give way. Apparently we aren't the craziest drivers on the North-South Expressway. Within 2 hours, we reached Johor Bahru from Malacca. 4-5 hours was the norm, especially for coach rides.

At JB John almost ran out of gas. Just before he paid the highway toll he had already turned the air-con to the barest minimal and switched off the stereo entirely. He then asked the person at the toll booth for directions to the closest petrol station and she told him to go towards the airport.

So we did. But no petrol station was found. When we encountered a choice of going to the city or the airport, John picked the city believing there was a higher chance of finding petrol there. He was already joking about needing us to push the car when we reached the city. However, we found a Petronas station very quickly.

The catch was that he was limited to 2 litres only for some reason. Soon after we left, we found a Shell station. There he was unable to figure out how to use the machine. So he went in to the convenience store only to find that no one spoke English. Eventually the guy who came out to try to explain to us how to refuel the car gave up trying to talk to us in Malay and just used his card to buy petrol for us and we paid him directly in cash the price shown on the meter. John filled his tank there for 41RM. Can't remember how much fuel that bought.

After that John found that we were much closer to the Woodlands customs than the Second Link at Tuas. Despite his preference for the latter, it was much more convenient for him to use the older entrance to Singapore. So we went to Woodlands.

It was both my and CZY's first time going through this customs in a car. It took much longer than if we had taken a bus but at least we didn't have to get out of the car. As expected there was a jam there and we all expected a very thorough search because of the speed of the traffic.

As a precaution, I transferred my 2 packets of chewing gum into my bag of dirty laundry. In the end, we were wrong. There was no serious search. The officer merely opened the boot, saw CZY there holding our luggage and told us to move on. After that it was a smooth ride home, mine first because of the location. Just over 3 hours since we left Malacca, I was home.

Unfortunately, nobody at my home wanted to try the chicken I brought. It stayed in the fridge till the next day when my mum reheated it that night by steaming, hence overcooking the chicken. What a waste.












Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters


"We're looking at a truly staggering load of shit here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."

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