Rant 088 / We Are Going To Need More Monkeys

Woke up on the right side of the bed? Things are going perfectly for you? Other guys' wives are flocking to you after their husbands lose their jobs?

Don't worry, if life is going too smoothly, we have just the solution for you.

Introducing Singapore opposition Parties - the death zone where all successful people go to be less successful. If you have too much money, LKY has ways to solve that. If you have too many wives, the Sg gov has the suitable solutions. If you have are too smooth with people, they have the answers that YOU want.

Mr Low(not his real name) used to be a local successful multi-billionaire in the shipping industry. He was good with people, great with business tactics and best with women. But finding his life too successful and good, he decided to join the opposition.

It was a revelation to him. He never knew how bad his life could have been if he had never gone into the wrong side of politics. He learnt to suffer in slow agony, and couldn't sleep for weeks at a time. He contracted herpes from a rent boy and ear infections from his handphone.

In short, he trashed his life. And he just couldn't get enough of it. Day and night he stand on the line between a career suicide and exile, and couldn't be happier.

This is but one of our success stories out of the thousands in our archives. We, at the League of Extraordinary Personnels (LEPers) , believe that everyone should have a chance at a life on par with that of a stray dog in the streets of Bangladesh. We know that there are those who are getting sick of their great, successful lives, and yearn for one that is disgusting and filled with inhumane depravity.

Services we offer include Eternal Damnation, Career Ruination, Slow Torture and our most popular service: Medical Treatment a la Kevorkian. With such a wide range available for all your sadistic needs, how can you miss this chance to take advantage of our Buy 2 Get 2 Free Deal?

Yes, you saw right! Buy 2 Get 2 Free Deal! If you let us slowly torture and kill you, we will make sure you are eternally damned and your remains get sued for grand theft auto, fraud, embezzlement, vandalism and even rape! And all these at the low price of 666 easy payments of $6.66! How can you pass up this chance?!

















I don't think that was funny. Hmm...












If you have been reading this blog, think of all those minutes of your life you will never get back. What a waste!













We are going to need more monkeys.









Nothing happens. This is the infamous Week of the Deadly Calm.









Watched 28 Days Later and I Am Legend last night. They both have many things in common: the rest of the world is turned into Sun-fearing monsters, colonies have somehow been set up by survivors, both movies suck.

I Am Legend is unsatisfying in that I feel there's something missing. I don't know exactly what but something seems to be missing, and that sucks.

28 Days Later suck because it is just a crappy movie full of inconsistencies and illogical actions/ideas by the characters.

But watching those movies, I keep remembering the game Urban Dead, because I'm always alone except while resting for the night. I would have to move around alone and have to find a safe haven set up by other survivors before I run out of turns, This is just like the main guy in I Am Legend, who has to be home before dusk.












Finally realize what was wrong with my Shared Folders. Before, I was thinking of the Windows Vista Shared Folders as something like a common folder - 1 folder accessible by anyone in the network. Now I see that the Shared Folders are really separate folders on each computer in the network that are accessible by anyone inside. So I cannot access my Public Folder for files that are on my bro's Public folder, which is what I've been doing so far. This sounds really stupid as I type it out.












I now have my own room. Kind of. When a part-time maid cleared the mess that was in the storage room, which used to be the master bedroom, I saw the opportunity to change my nightlife. Right away I packed up the final bits of the mess, mopped the floor, polished it and sprayed insecticide on the walls.

The next day was the day I moved in. Now I have a room that will give me a relatively better measure of privacy. The cupboards are still here, filled with old stuff. There is a small hill of miscellany covered completely by two old bed sheets.

Now even though I have my room, it is still not a good idea to have anyone come over for an overnight stay, because this bedroom has a toilet. While this presents no problem for me alone, it is a whole different story when one person in the group has a stomachache with the rest in the room. We rely on natural wind-powered ventilation here, and the wind directions are not always reliable.

Not only that, I have no table in the room. I am typing this on my laptop, with me on the bed and the comp on my lap. It is definitely not advisable for 6 person to do so at the same time on my bed. Well, unless they're ladies, of course.












I wonder, is my style cold, unfeeling? Or do other guys blog with too much emotions?